


We Need to Do This

by elsiecarson



Category: Hope Springs, Keeping Up Appearances
Genre: Arguing, F/M, Fights, Marriage Counselling, Men Crying, angry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:20:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 14,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29182428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elsiecarson/pseuds/elsiecarson
Summary: Richard decides to go to counselling with or without Hyacinth and he's booked a week with Dr. Bernie Feld in Hope Springs, Maine. He has to try and persuade Hyacinth to come with him. Their marriage needs fixing
Relationships: Hyacinth Bucket/Richard Bucket
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Richard comes home with a brochure tucked in the inside pocket of his blazer. He hadn’t considered marriage counselling until now. He and Hyacinth celebrated their wedding anniversary last week. They didn’t do anything romantic and didn’t even really have a conversation. Richard found a marriage counsellor in Maine who does intensive work with each couple for a week. Richard wants to go and he wants to try and get Hyacinth to come with him. “Hyacinth, I want you to look at this and decide if you want to come with me because I want to go.” Richard pushes the brochure under the nose of his wife so she can’t miss it.

“Intensive couples therapy in Maine? I’m not going.” Hyacinth says firmly.

“I’ve booked a week and I’m going. Whether you come with me or not is up to you. However, if I go and you decide not to come I won’t be coming back to you. I can’t continue to live like this.” Richard says sadly.

“You think we need this that much?” Hyacinth asks casually flipping through the brochure.

“Yes, I do. I picked up his book on my way home. I’m going whether you come or not because I need to make some decisions about my life.” Richard notices the disinterested look on her face.

Hyacinth throws the brochure down on the counter. She’s mad and she has no intention of going to any marriage counsellor to discuss her personal life. She thumps Richard’s dinner down on the table and sits down with a huff across from him.

“I’m not that hungry. Put that in fridge for tomorrow.” Richard leaves the kitchen and goes up to his bedroom. He changes out of his suit and puts his pyjamas on. He lies down on his bed and starts to cry. He loved his wife so much once. Now everything’s different. He doesn’t even know his wife anymore.


	2. Uncertain Future

Hyacinth comes into the bedroom and Richard turns away from her so she can’t see him cry. He bites his lip so she can’t hear him either. He hears Hyacinth drop her shoes in the closet and he knows she’s changing into her nightgown. They used to change in front of each, but they won’t anymore. He’s not sure why.

Hyacinth falls asleep quickly when she climbs into her bed on the other side of the room. Richard lies awake looking at the ceiling. He wakes up early the next morning and quietly packs his suitcase while his wife’s still asleep. He carries his suitcase downstairs and puts it by the front door. He walks back upstairs and wanders around wondering if this is going to be his last time in this house. He looks in his son’s room which is so full of memories. He goes back into his bedroom and looks at his wife for a moment before he goes into the closet, pulls out another suitcase and carefully packs some of Hyacinth’s dresses in it. He puts the suitcase on the bench at the foot of Hyacinth’s bed. He goes downstairs to make himself a cup of tea. He hears Hyacinth’s alarm go off upstairs and he sighs heavily. Soon she’ll be downstairs fussing in no time. He sets her boarding pass and passport next to her plate. He pours himself a cup of tea and a bowl of cereal. Hyacinth comes down already dressed and begins making breakfast for herself.

“Your boarding pass and passport are both there, Hyacinth. The plane leaves at 11:30. I’ll be on it. I hope you will too.” Richard says casually. He finishes his cereal and heads upstairs to get dressed and ready for his trip.

Hyacinth continues to eat her breakfast and read the newspaper. The house already feels empty and Richard hasn’t even left yet. She can hear him moving upstairs and suddenly she’s unsure if he’ll be back and she’s scared. She doesn’t want to lose him, but she’s not sure she’s ready for this either.

Richard comes downstairs and tucks his razor and toothbrush into the bag with his other essentials. He tucks his wallet, boarding pass, and passport into his inside pocket. He sees the taxi pull up and hears the horn honk. He leaves the house carrying his suitcase before Hyacinth can stop him.


	3. Chasing Richard

Hyacinth stands at the front window and watches him go. She slumps, very unladylike, into a chair in the sitting room and runs her hands firmly over her face. She sits for a moment and thinks about her life without Richard. She realized quickly that she doesn’t want to lose him. She runs upstairs and quickly throws some more clothes into her suitcase. She calls a taxi company and packs her make-up and other essentials. She runs downstairs and puts her boarding pass and passport in her purse. She waits for the taxi outside the house. “Airport please.” Hyacinth says passing the taxi driver her bag and climbing into the taxi. She sighs heavily. She can’t believe she’s actually flying halfway around the world because Richard asked her to. She arrives at the airport and quickly takes her bag from the driver and heads into the airport. She hates airports and flying. She’s thankful she doesn’t have to check any bags. She heads through security and towards the gate. The plane is already boarding when she reaches the gate. She doesn’t see Richard at the gate and so she waits in line to board the plane.

On the plane Richard is getting antsy that Hyacinth hasn’t shown up yet. Slowly he resigns himself to the fact that she’s not coming. He starts thinking about what he’s going to have to do when he comes home to Britain. Suddenly an elegant woman is putting her bag in the overhead bin above him. When he looks up it’s Hyacinth who’s standing there. She slides past him and sits in her seat. Richard reaches for Hyacinth’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “Thank you for coming.” Richard whispers.

“I hope you’re happy now.” Hyacinth grumbles as she tries to get settled. She shoves her purse under her seat and tries to remain calm. She’s not a calm flyer.

“I know you don’t like flying so I’m glad you came.” Richard says sweetly.

Hyacinth sighs and leans back in her seat. She can only hope she’ll sleep on the flight to Maine. “Don’t forget your seatbelt.” Hyacinth says shortly to Richard.

“You too,” Richard whispers to his wife. He knows some of this emotion is just because she’s nervous about the flight. The plane begins to taxi down the runway and Hyacinth immediately clutches Richard’s hand. Richard rubs small circles on the back of Hyacinth’s hand. It’s the first physical contact she’s initiated in months. Richard can only hope she’ll relax as the flight continues otherwise he won’t have any feeling in his hand.


	4. Flying to the USA

Soon the flight levels out and Hyacinth finally lets go of Richard’s hand. She reaches under her seat and pulls a book out of her purse. “I’m going to try to get some sleep. Will you be alright?” Richard asks Hyacinth.

“I’ll be fine. I’m just going to try and read. When the cart comes by what do you want to drink?” Hyacinth asks watching Richard trying to get settled.

“Just get me a water. I need to stay hydrated.” Richard says as he pulls a blanket over himself. He gets very cold on planes and he knows Hyacinth will need it later.

When Richard wakes up an hour later his water is sitting on Hyacinth’s tray table. He knows it’s his glass because it doesn’t have a lipstick mark on it. He picks up his glass and takes a sip.

“Can you let me out? I need to go to the bathroom.” Hyacinth asks climbing over Richard’s knees.

Richard takes a deep breath as he watches his beautiful wife climb over him. He’s always thought she’s beautiful though there’s been little physical contact between them in many years. He watches her walk up the aisle toward the bathrooms. She looks so elegant even in her casual outfit. She comes back towards her seat and Richard can’t help but smile. She carefully climbs back over Richard resting her hand on his knee. She sits down in her seat and slips her shoes off. She’s tired, but she wants to wait until after their first meal before she tries to get some sleep.


	5. Falling Asleep on the Plane

One of the flight attendants comes down the aisle with the drinks trolley and another with the food trolley. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“I’ll have a Fanta orange, please.” Hyacinth requests.

“I’ll have a water.” Richard passes Hyacinth her Fanta orange.

The flight attendant with the food trolley comes by. “We have sandwiches and veggies and dip for lunch. We have ham and cheese, roast beef, or vegetarian sandwiches with cream cheese.”

“I’ll have a ham and cheese.” Richard passes Hyacinth her veggies and dip as she speaks.

“I’ll have a roast beef, thanks.” Richard pulls his tray table down.

“You shouldn’t eat so much red meat, Richard.” Hyacinth whines to her husband.

Richard sighs heavily. His wife is always pestering him about his bad habits. There aren’t that many of them. He watches his wife sip her fizzy drink. She looks sweet. He quickly finishes his meal and stands up to get something out of his carry-on. He pulls his candy and book out and sits down in his seat again. “Do you want something sweet?” Richard asks as he pulls the bag of candy open.

“Oh, thank you, Richard. I didn’t have a chance to pick up what I wanted on my way through the airport.” Hyacinth says sweetly.

“I didn’t think you did. I bought a package of your favourite biscuits to put in my carry on along with some of your clothes that you might want on our trip.” Richard tells his wife.

“That’s so sweet of you, Richard. Thank you.” Hyacinth finishes her drink and places the empty glass on Richard’s tray table.

“You look tired, Hyacinth. Why don’t you try to get some sleep before we arrive in Maine?” Richard suggests to his wife.

“I am tired. Can I rest my head on your shoulder so I can sleep?” Hyacinth asks cautiously.

“Of course you can. I will probably get some more sleep later. I didn’t sleep very well last night as you can well imagine.” Richard says gently.

Hyacinth leans towards Richard and leans her head on his shoulder. She tucks her feet up and Richard pulls the blanket out from under himself and drapes it over his wife. He opens his crossword puzzle and takes his pen out of his pocket. He soon realizes, because his wife is leaning on the shoulder of the hand he writes with, he’ll wake his wife if he does his crosswords now. He picks up his book by Dr. Feld and puts his glasses on. Hyacinth cuddles into Richard’s chest. Richard smiles down at his wife. He wishes they could be like this all the time. He misses his wife. As Hyacinth relaxes in her sleep she slips her arm around Richard’s waist.

Richard becomes more and more sleepy as he continues to read. He sets his book down and leans his head back into his seat. He’s worried about the next week. He wants this whole process to be successful he slowly falls asleep listening to Hyacinth’s slow, even breathing.


	6. Cuddling and Resisting

Hyacinth wakes up before Richard does and she notices his arm is around her shoulders. She snuggles back into his arms and picks up her book. She doesn’t want to wake him since he looks so relaxed and that is rare for him. She opens her book and begins to read. The person on the other side of her has been asleep the entire flight which has meant she hasn’t had to make meaningless small talk. She’s enjoyed seeing Richard so relaxed. She’s reading a silly romance novel her sister, Daisy, suggested she read. A tear trickles down her face as she realizes that the couple in the book is very much like her and Richard. Maybe that’s why Daisy suggested this book. She looks up at her husband and knows things have to change. Richard did the right thing by insisting on counselling. She sets her book down in her lap and runs her hands over her face. She knows her marriage isn’t working, but she never though Richard would consider leaving her.

The flight attendants begin moving through the cabin to serve dinner. Hyacinth shakes Richard gently. “Richard, they’re serving dinner.”

Richard stretches carefully trying not to hit anyone around him. Hyacinth moves from his arms to give him some space. “Did I hold you the entire time I was asleep?”

“You held me the entire time I was asleep and I didn’t want to wake you when I woke up so I stayed put.” Hyacinth tells Richard.

“That’s interesting. I haven’t done that for a long time. It was nice though.” Richard says looking seriously at his wife.

The flight attendant comes by with their meals. Hyacinth has chicken and Richard has beef. Richard watches his wife carefully open her meal and gingerly sniff it. “Well?” Richard asks sipping his water.

“It’s airplane food. What can I say?” Hyacinth asks shrugging nonchalantly.

“Well, we should get good food in Maine. This town of Great Hope Springs is right on the ocean, so we should get some wonderful seafood while we’re there.” Richard tells his wife.

“Well, at least it has one thing going for it.” Hyacinth grumbles.

“Why are you so against this? We need to change something and I don’t know how else to do this. I’m out of ideas. This was my only option left to me.” Richard says tiredly.

“I think we could have worked things out on our own without the help of a marriage counsellor.” Hyacinth sounds angry, as if she resents him for doing this.

“I don’t see how that’s possible considering that you don’t listen long enough for us to have a real conversation. We can’t fix things if the conversations are one-sided. I can’t keep talking to myself.” Richard hisses under his breath.

“Well, we’ll see if we can fix things.” Hyacinth says nonchalantly.

Richard grumbles angrily under his breath. He can’t believe his wife is being so calm. He’s been so worried about his marriage, but his wife seems completely unconcerned about the state of their union. Richard stacks his empty dishes on the edge of his tray table and puts his wife’s dishes on his tray table as well. He picks up his book and puts his reading glasses on. He doesn’t want to talk to his wife anymore right now. He’s enjoying his book very much which keeps him from thinking about how angry he is at his wife.


	7. Sweets and Memories

Hyacinth curls herself into her seat. She’s suddenly staying as far away from Richard as possible. That makes Richard even more upset. She never initiates physical contact with him anymore. He continues to read and Hyacinth picks up the crossword puzzle book. She flips through the first pages that have been filled in by Richard. “Can I borrow a pen?” Hyacinth asks her husband.

Richard wordlessly passes Hyacinth his pen that he’d put back in his inside pocket, barely looking up from his book.

Hyacinth takes the lid off Richard’s pen and passes it back to Richard. She gasps softly as his fingers brush hers. She quickly pulls away from Richard and begins to fill in her crossword puzzle. She can feel feelings welling up inside of her that she thought were long dead and buried. She still finds Richard terribly attractive and he’s being so sweet to her despite her horrible behaviour towards him. She finds her mind drifting from her crossword puzzle and she can only hope that Richard won’t notice how distracted she is. She can’t believe how alive one little touch can make her feel. Richard doesn’t know how much he still affects her.

“Are you alright?” Richard asks gently. He just heard Hyacinth gasp and she’s not doing anything right now and he also know she hates flying, so he wants to check and make sure she’s doing okay.

“I’m fine. That touch just surprised me that’s all. You have an electric touch, Richard.” Hyacinth says gently trying not to let anyone around them hear her.

“At least we still have that going for us. There’s more candy of biscuits if you want. I’ve got chocolate caramel McVitie’s in my carry on.” Richard suggests to his wife.

“Oh, I’d love to have a biscuit! If it’s not too much trouble that is.” Hyacinth says excitedly.

“I was just about to grab them for myself. I wanted something sweet.” Richard stands up and opens the overhead bin. He unzips his carry-on bag and finds his biscuits. He tosses the biscuits onto his seat and shoves his bag back into the overhead bin. He closes the bin and looks down to his seat before he sits down so he doesn’t sit on the biscuits. They’re not on his seat. He looks suspiciously at his wife who’s holding the package and already has it open. “So, you’re the biscuit thief when I buy them for myself.”

“Well who else did you suppose it was? No one else lives in our house. I don’t serve them to any guests. I do have more of a sweet tooth than I let on.” Hyacinth offers the package to Richard.

“They go so much better with tea, though. I’d actually love a cup right about now.” Richard looks around for a stewardess.

“The stewardesses should be coming around with drinks soon. I don’t mind having these biscuits with milk, too, but I prefer tea.” Hyacinth says after she has a bite of her biscuit.

“I haven’t seen you have a glass of milk for years, probably since you were pregnant. I used to like watching you drink a glass of milk. It reminded me of the first time your mother invited me in when we were first dating. And she served biscuits and milk so she could chat with me. Your mother scared me slightly, actually.” Richard tells his wife.

“I tried to warn you that day. Why do you think all us girls, except Rose, were so well behaved? My father wasn’t the one who was the disciplinarian, it was my mother. She always liked you. She trusted me with you.” Hyacinth admits to Richard. She and her mother were very close since she was the eldest sibling.

“I liked your mother, but she scared me. I had a great deal of respect for your mother since she raised four such great girls. She told me if I ever hurt you I’d have her to contend with. Your father just accepted me and so did your sisters.” Richard smiles when he thinks about Hyacinth’s mother.

“You know I remember my mother coming to talk to me in my room about six weeks before you proposed. She wanted to see how I was feeling. She talked to me like a woman and she could see how excited I was about you. She told me about she was with my father when they were courting. It was so special.” Hyacinth smiles wistfully.

“We were excited about each other, weren’t we? I remember feeling like I was floating on air.” Richard says gently.

“I still have moments where I feel like that. Maybe, if this works out the way you want it to, we can feel that way more often. You were right you know this isn’t working anymore. Sheridan isn’t living at home anymore and I think that affected me more than I ever let on.” Hyacinth admits to Richard.

Richard tentatively leans over and kisses Hyacinth’s cheek. “We’ll be okay. I just didn’t want to lose you and I didn’t know what to do. I figured that having us be a captive audience would be better, so that we didn’t have an excuse not to do what we need to.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Hyacinth says honestly. She can’t believe how sweet he’s being. A stewardess comes by with drinks. “I’ll have tea, please.” Hyacinth breathes in soft scent on the Earl Grey tea. She watches as Richard takes his tea from the stewardess. He’s really very handsome. She offers Richard the package of biscuits. She never dunks these biscuits in her tea since tea makes the chocolate melt. Richard smiles at his wife. He feels like, with moments like this, they have a shot at making things better.


	8. Listening to Music Together

Richard takes his earphones out of his pocket and plugs them into his armrest. “Do you want to listen to some music with me?” Richard offers to his wife.

“Sure, that sounds lovely. What should we listen to?” Hyacinth asks as she takes one of the earphones from Richard. 

“Well, let’s see if we can find a rock n’ roll or classical station.” Richard suggests.

Hyacinth concedes the rock n’ roll station to Richard even though it’s not really her taste. To Hyacinth’s delight Richard doesn’t find a rock n’ roll station he likes. He settles on a classical station and she settles back in her seat. Hyacinth’s eyes close as she listens to the soft strains of the music. She picks up her tea and sips it slowly. Tea always relaxes Hyacinth. She sets her empty cup down and closes her eyes.

Richard takes the time, while Hyacinth isn’t paying attention, to really observe her. She’s really beautiful. She’s elegant, too. Richard can see her elegance from the tops of her curls to the tips of each finger and toe. Her fingernails are painted a soft pink. Richard can’t help but fall in love with Hyacinth when she’s this calm and relaxed and being this considerate. The strains of the music begin to make him sleepy. He slowly falls asleep and Hyacinth notices. She pulls the blanket out from under herself and drapes it over Richard. She leans over and softly kisses his forehead trying not to wake him. She wants him to sleep as long as he wants. She knows he didn’t sleep well last night even though he didn’t want her to know.


	9. Landing

Hyacinth is bored. This is part of the reason she hates long flights. She doesn’t sleep for long enough to make the time go faster. The fact that the man sitting to her right has been asleep the entire flight is only upsetting her more right now. She can’t settle to anything at the moment. A little boy in the seat in front of her peeks over the top of his seat. “Hello,” Hyacinth whispers to him. The little boy smiles and drops back into his seat. She’s trying not to move too much or be too loud. Richard deserves to sleep as long as possible. The flight only has an hour left and so Hyacinth figure she can handle a little more time without someone else to talk to.

Richard is so handsome and even his hands look relaxed. Soon the fasten seatbelt sign comes on and Hyacinth gently shakes Richard awake. “The plane is about to land, Richard.”

Richard sighs as he wakes up for the last time on the plane. He fastens his seatbelt and reaches for Hyacinth’s hand. “We’ll be okay.”

“How are we getting to Great Hope Springs?” Hyacinth asks trying to focus on Richard instead of the plane around her.

“I rented a car, so I’m driving us out there. I made sure the car has GPS so we won’t get lost.” Richard tells his wife.

“I was going to ask if you know how to get there. Are you sure you want to drive over here? You don’t have to you know.” Hyacinth asks gently.

“I’ll be fine. I’m just driving to and from the airport. Everything in the town is within walking distance.” Richard says calmly.

Hyacinth feels the plane begin to tilt down and she clutches Richard’s arm tightly. She hates landing.

“It’s alright. Don’t worry. Take a deep breath. I’m right here.” Richard reassures his wife.

Hyacinth smiles nervously. She knows Richard is right, but she really doesn’t like flying. She breathes a deep sigh of relief when she feels the wheels touch down gently. She releases her tight hold on Richard’s arm and notices Richard rub his arm. She must have left fingernail marks on his arm. The plane comes to a stop at the gate and Richard is quickly up out of his seat to get their carry-on bags. He stuffs all the things he had for the flight into his bag. Hyacinth watches Richard as he helps a lady across the aisle get her bag down. Richard hoists the bags onto his shoulders and allows Hyacinth to go ahead of him.


	10. Driving to Great Hope Springs

Hyacinth sighs as she stands up on the plane. She didn’t realize how stiff she’d gotten. She keeps looking behind her to make sure Richard is still behind her. They walk through the airport to the baggage claim. Hyacinth leans sleepily against Richard as they wait for his suitcase to arrive. Richard puts his arm around Hyacinth’s shoulders. She relaxes into his touch slightly before Richard moves to grab his bag from the carousel.

Richard and Hyacinth sink into the car when they’re ready to go. “Are you sure you should be driving, Richard? You didn’t sleep well last night and you didn’t sleep for very long on the plane.”

“I’ll be fine. I got more sleep on the plane and the trip’s not that much further. I just want to get where we’re going and get settled.” Richard puts his glasses on and buckles his seatbelt.

“Alright, if you’re sure. I wouldn’t mind staying here tonight and going into Great Hope Springs tomorrow.” Hyacinth says gently.

“No, we better get going. We have to be in Dr. Feld’s office at 10 a.m. tomorrow.” Richard starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot.

“Just make sure you’re driving on the right side of the road. We’re not in Britain anymore.” Hyacinth reminds Richard gently.

Richard smiles at Hyacinth. He’s much certain about how much Hyacinth loves him. “Yes Hyacinth.” Richard says gently. For once in the car Hyacinth stays relatively quiet. She’s not side seat driving and all that can be heard is the voice of the GPS. “That voice is really irritating.” Richard grumbles.

“Mm,” Hyacinth says quietly. “The accent is all wrong, isn’t it? Perhaps we’re not used to American accents.”

“Normally I wouldn’t mind, but it’s grating on my nerves. I’d turn it off but I don’t know where I’m going. I’ll just have to live with it.” Richard sighs. “At least we won’t have to listen to that for very long.”

“Do you mind if I try and get some sleep?” Hyacinth asks yawning.

“No, of course not, darling. You get some sleep I’ll wake you when we get there.” Richard says gently.

“Are you sure you can stay awake if I fall asleep?” Hyacinth asks gently.

“Of course I can stay awake. I’ll put the radio on and the GPS will talk to me. You sleep.” Richard glances over at Hyacinth and pats her hand.

Hyacinth puts her seat back and lies back tucking her hand under her head. She relaxes even though she doesn’t usually when she’s in the car with Richard. Richard glances over at his wife and smiles. After the plane trip he is much more optimistic about their relationship. He speeds down the highway towards Great Hope Springs. As they get closer to the town Richard can hear the sound of the ocean. The sound is so relaxing. The highway winds along the coast and Richard winds his window down so he can smell the salt air. Richard hears the GPS ping and the voice says, “Take the next exit.” Richard sees the sign for the exit and veers the car over into the exit lane. He follows the signs for Great Hope Springs. He drives slowly through the small town looking for the small hotel they’re planning to stay at. He pulls into the parking lot and turns the car off. He takes his seatbelt off and turns to his wife. He gently shakes her and waits for her to wake up.

“Are we there already?” Hyacinth asks as she sits up. She runs her hand across her eyes slowly.

“Yes, we’re here. Let’s check in and relax for the evening.” Richard suggests to his wife. He loves the way she looks when she first wakes up. She looks less polished, but more like the woman he married. “Come on, let’s go.” Richard says as he climbs out of the car.

Hyacinth runs a comb through her hair before she gets out of the car. Richard already has the large suitcase out of the trunk by the time she gets out of the car. “Let me take something, Richard.”

“You can take the carry-ons for me. Let’s get inside.” Richard picks up the suitcase and heads towards the front entrance. Hyacinth follows her husband into the hotel. “We have a reservation under the name Bucket.”

“Yes sir, we do have your reservation. You’re in room 411. Enjoy your stay.” The receptionist says as she passes the key to Richard.


	11. The Hotel and the Truth

Richard passes the key to Hyacinth and picks up the large suitcase. Hyacinth heads up the stairs in front of Richard to open the hotel room door. She opens the door and puts the door stop in so Richard can get in. She looks around the room at all the homey touches and the fact that the room overlooks the ocean. The room is very relaxing. Richard comes into the room and sets the bag down. “This is really nice, isn’t it?” Richard asks.

“It really is nice. I love that the room overlooks the ocean. This is really romantic. I can see why Dr. Feld set up the practice here as a place for couples to reconnect with each other.” Hyacinth says as she sits down on the side of the bed.

“Let’s hope that Dr. Feld can help us fix this relationship so we can enjoy the romance in this room. I hope we have enough time to enjoy the town and the room.” Richard sits on the other side of the bed.

“You’re really worried about this, aren’t you? Why didn’t you say something earlier?” Hyacinth asks as she lies back on the bed.

“Yes, I am very worried. I don’t know how to fix this; I just know it has to be changed. My favourite moment today was when you curled into my arms when you slept on the plane, but something disturbed me and that was that you had to ask if I would hold you. I was so upset that you didn’t know that I would hold you whenever you needed it. You don’t know me the way I thought you did. I always want to be able to hold you as long as we live.” Richard lies back on the bed and looks at his wife who has rolled over on her side to look at her husband.

When Richard looks at his wife she’s crying. He can’t stand to see her this way. “I never wanted us to end up this way.” Hyacinth says through her tears.

“I know you didn’t. It’s okay, we’ll get through this together.” Richard looks up at the ceiling and sighs. Hyacinth moves closer to her husband cautiously. She lays her head on his chest and her arm around his waist. “Don’t cry, we can make it if we get honest with ourselves.” Richard can feel Hyacinth’s tears soak into his shirt. Richard puts his arms around his wife. She’s not usually this emotional. He waits for her to relax in his arms. He feels her breathing even out and deepen. When he looks down at his wife she’s beginning to fall asleep. “Why don’t we go get something to eat and then we can come back and get a good night’s sleep?”

“I’m not really that hungry, but I could eat. Can’t we just get room service so we can unpack?” Hyacinth suggests.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. I don’t really want to have to move ever again. Let me up and I’ll find the menu.” Richard says trying to sit up.

“I saw one at the end of the bed on the tray.” Hyacinth says as she sits up and leans against the wall.

“Got it,” Richard says bending forward and grabbing the menu and leaning back against the wall next to his wife. “Let’s see what we’ve got here. I know I don’t want anything too heavy. Most of the items on the menu have seafood in them.”

“I’m going to have the salmon pasta with rosé sauce.” Hyacinth says as she looks at the menu.

“Ooh, sounds like too much food for me. I’m going to have the seafood chowder and a Caesar salad. Do we want something to drink?” Richard asks as he looks at the drinks on the list.

“There’s got to be drinks in the mini bar we can have. I don’t need much to drink.” Hyacinth says gently.

“Alright, I’ll order for us. Why don’t you start unpacking before you fall asleep?” Richard suggests to his wife. He watches his wife as she moves around the end of the bed and begins to unpack the large suitcase and the two carry-ons. He picks up the phone and orders their dinner before he helps Hyacinth unpack. Even when she’s doing something as simple as hanging up clothing she looks elegant and sweet.

Hyacinth unfolds her dresses and hangs them up. She knows Richard is watching her intently. “You packed lovely things for me, Richard. Did you pack me some pants as well?”

“Of course I packed pants for you. Is everything that I packed alright?” Richard asks as he pulls his suit jackets out of the bottom of the big suitcase.

“Yes, it’s all lovely. Thank you for packing some of my things in the big case. I would never have had enough clothing if you hadn’t.” Hyacinth says as she finishes unpacking her carry-on. She knows how sweet Richard is to her.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I’m just glad that you decided to come with me.” Richard says gently.


	12. Dinner in Front of the Fire and Jealousy

There’s a knock on the door and Richard goes to answer the door and brings dinner in for the two of them. “Here we are, my darling. Come and eat over here by the fire.” Richard carries the tray over to the sitting room.

“Do you want white wine with dinner?” Hyacinth asks as she looks in the mini bar.

“Sure, that sounds nice.” Richard lifts the covers off the meal.

Hyacinth brings the bottle over and passes it and the corkscrew to Richard. She sits down in front of the fire next to the coffee table.

Richard passes Hyacinth her glass of wine. He sits down next to his wife and sets her pasta down in front of her. “Oh, isn’t this nice? There’s no interruptions and no phone calls and no family drama! We can just focus on us.” Richard sighs blissfully.

“It’s nice to be able to just relax and I don’t have to do dishes either. This might have been a better idea than I first thought. The room is beautiful, too.” Hyacinth says as she picks up her cutlery.

Richard watches his wife wind her pasta around her fork for a moment before he picks up a spoon and begins to eat his soup. The weather is cool in Maine and Richard appreciates the rich, warm soup. The room is quiet and Richard can hear the fire crackle. For once Richard isn’t uncomfortable with his wife as he usually is. “The wine is very nice, isn’t it?” Richard asks his wife. Normally the conversation at meals is minimal.

“Yes, it’s very nice. It’s very nice to be able to sit and have a glass of wine with you. We don’t get to relax together very often.” Hyacinth says as she sips her wine.

“You seem to have relaxed a lot since we got off the plane. Are you feeling better now that you’re not in that cramped space anymore?” Richard asks after her finishes his soup.

“Yes, I’m feeling much better. You helped me a great deal on that flight. I felt much better when you were holding me or talking to me. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and you proved it to me again today on the plane trip.” Hyacinth sets her fork down and moves closer to her husband.

“I love you, Hyacinth. I would do anything for you. It’s not a burden to do those things for you or with you. I want more days like today.” Richard says gently. He leans over and kisses Hyacinth’s cheek.

Hyacinth finishes her dinner and pushes her pasta bowl away from her. Richard pours Hyacinth another glass of wine and refills his glass. He leans against the base of the sofa with his wine glass in one hand. Hyacinth leans her head on Richard’s shoulder and keeps a hold of her wine glass.

Richard sighs. Suddenly the silence in the room is awkward and he’s unsure of how to proceed with his wife. He drains his wine glass and sets it down before he picks up the TV remote and turns the TV on.

“Do you mind not putting that on right now? Can we just talk?” Hyacinth asks quietly.

“Of course we can just talk. Will you really listen if we talk though?” Richard turns towards his wife.

“Yes, I will listen. I think I better listen carefully or I’ll be flying home by myself. I love you, Richard, and I am determined that at the end of this week we will be better off than when we started. Now tell me what you think is wrong.” Hyacinth requests of her husband.

“I’m tired, Hyacinth. I’m tired of not being listened to. I’m tired of everyone else being more important than me. I’m tired of the fact that you know everything about everyone else and nothing about me. It upsets me that you listen to everyone else in your family, but not me. I’m tired of not being able to have a conversation with you. I hate that we sleep in separate beds and that I can’t remember the last time that I kissed you on the lips. I think it’s wrong that your family likes me better than you. I don’t like that I don’t have a better relationship with our son. I just miss the relationship we had when we were first married.” Richard leans forward and rests his arms on his knees.

Hyacinth puts her hand on Richard’s back and rubs his back softly. “No one is more important that you, Richard, and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I never meant to make you feel as if you were unimportant to me. I know I get wrapped up in things and I’m not as attentive as I should be, but that doesn’t mean you’re not important. Even Sheridan doesn’t mean as much to me as you do. I know things about you and I’m sorry that I don’t listen as much as I should. We’re having a conversation now and I promise we won’t stop talking to each other ever again. I don’t like sleeping in separate beds either, but we just did it after Sheridan was born and we never changed it when he left for university. I want to sleep in the same bed and I want you to be comfortable kissing me whenever you want. I miss you, Richard. I want to feel like a couple again instead of two people who just happen to live in the same house. I don’t want us to be uncomfortable with each other or feel awkward talking to each other about anything.”

“I also don’t like that you are so friendly with Major Willow-Forsythe, either, especially since he’s such a flirt. He worries me. He likes you very much.” Richard sounds upset.

“You have nothing to worry about, Richard. I don’t think of Major Willow-Forsythe that way. I love you, Richard. I know he likes me, but I don’t allow him to get away with anything. You are the love of my life and I would never jeopardize that by allowing the major to pursue me. The major isn’t my type at all.” Hyacinth says seriously.

“I know I don’t have to worry about you, but I do worry about him.” Richard whispers.

“Look at me.” Hyacinth says firmly. “I love you with all my heart.” Hyacinth leans forward and kisses her husband. She doesn’t normally initiate physical contact. She loves to kiss him though when she gets the opportunity.

Richard savours the chance he’s being given to deeply kiss his wife. He can feel the warmth from the fire warming the two of them. He loves how soft her lips are against his. He pulls away from the kiss slowly. He doesn’t want the night to end, but they have to be at Dr. Feld’s office early in the morning. “That was lovely, but you look tired, my darling. Shall we go to bed?”

“Oh, a good night’s sleep sounds wonderful. We should get some sleep and be well rested before we meet Dr. Feld tomorrow.” Hyacinth says as she begins to move.


	13. Changing for Bed

“Do you want to change in the bathroom or shall I?” Richard asks helping Hyacinth up after he stands up.

“I’ll change in the bathroom.” Hyacinth pulls a nightgown out of the dresser and walks into the bathroom.

Richard gets his pyjamas out and begins to change. He sighs as he thinks about the fact that his wife isn’t comfortable changing in front of him. He’s changed into his pyjama pants and is about to put his shirt on when he feels eyes on his bare back. He turns quickly and sees his wife standing in the doorway to the bathroom. She’s holding her clothes in her arms and her eyes are wide watching her husband. Richard quickly pulls his shirt on. “Sorry, I didn’t realize I’d taken so much time to change.”

Hyacinth sets her clothes down on the bench at the end of the bed. “It’s alright, I don’t mind. I’d forgotten how handsome you are.” Hyacinth stills Richard’s hands and encourages him to leave his shirt unbuttoned for the moment. She wraps her arms around his waist and leans her cheek on his bare chest.

Richard kisses the top of Hyacinth’s head. She’s being more affectionate than she’s been in a long time. “We still need to get some sleep, darling, for morning will come quickly for both of us.”

Hyacinth nods against Richard’s chest and they slowly pull apart. Richard buttons his pyjama top. Hyacinth slips between the sheets on one side of the bed and Richard walks around to the other side of the bed and climbs in next to his wife. Hyacinth pulls the blanket up around her and waits for Richard to settle down. He lies down on his side facing away from his wife. Even though they’ve just had a breakthrough in their relationship Richard doesn’t always like to hold his wife while he’s sleeping. “Hold me, Richard.” Hyacinth requests of her husband.

Richard rolls over and wraps his arm around his wife. Hyacinth snuggles back against her husband. It may have been many years since they’ve slept in the same bed, but they seem to have fallen back into their patterns from their early married years easily. “Are you comfortable Hyacinth?” Richard whispers in the dark.

“Yes my darling,” Hyacinth cuddles into the blankets and relishes the feeling of her husband’s arms around her.

The room is quiet and as Richard falls asleep he can hear the waves crash onto the beach in the distance. The sound of the ocean calms him and he’s soon fast asleep.


	14. The First Time in Forever

Richard wakes up before Hyacinth in the morning. He can smell the soft scent of her perfume and she looks so relaxed when she’s asleep. He climbs out of bed and heads in the direction of the bathroom to have a shower. He doesn’t want to wake his wife. She didn’t sleep as much as he did on the plane. He turns the hot water on and allows the tub to fill a little as he strips out of his pyjamas and gets in pulling the shower curtain across. He allows the hot water to pound down on him and work some of the knots out of his back from the way he slept on the plane. He reaches for the body wash the hotel provided and lathers it over his chest. The smell wafts up to his nose in the steamy shower stall. He turns into the deluge of water and rinses the body wash off. He reaches for the shampoo and he can hear his wife begin to move in the bedroom. He massages the shampoo into his scalp with his fingertips and tilts his head back to rinse his hair. He finally turns the water off with the water dripping off his body. His eyes are closed when he opens the shower curtain and carefully steps out of the shower. Suddenly a towel is being pressed into his hands. He wipes the soap out of his eyes before he opens them. “Hyacinth!” Richard cries as he covers himself with his towel. His wife is standing at the sink washing her face. Richard’s face flushes as he realizes his wife has seen him naked for the first time in almost twenty years.

“Who did you think it was? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Richard. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Hyacinth says gently. She reaches for the hand towel and blots her face dry.

Richard turns his back on his wife and secures the towel around his waist. “I don’t know who I thought it was. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Richard mumbles. He remains facing the shower stall. He is embarrassed. He’s gained so much weight since the last time his wife saw him naked.

Hyacinth sighs softly at Richard’s reaction. He’s always been unsure of himself and she’s sure she hasn’t helped him with that at all. She walks over to her husband and wraps her arms around his waist and leans her cheek on his damp back. “I’m not uncomfortable. I’m sorry if you are. You shouldn’t be. You’re very handsome, Richard.” Hyacinth presses a kiss in between his shoulder blades.

Richard reaches for Hyacinth’s hand. He kisses the back of her hand gently. “Thank you, my darling.” Richard mumbles quietly.

“You’re welcome. Now, come on, breakfast will be here soon, so get dressed and come and join me for breakfast.” Hyacinth pats Richard’s shoulder before she leaves the bathroom.

Richard leans against the sink. His wife has made him nervous. She doesn’t usually say or do things like that. He splashes some cool water on his face, pulls his pyjama pants on, drops the towel on the floor, puts his shirt on, and walks back into the main room. Hyacinth is just setting breakfast out when he enters the room. “It smells wonderful.” Richard says quietly as he walks towards his wife. She looks lovely.

“Come and eat before we have to go and see Dr. Feld.” Hyacinth pours Richard a cup of tea.

“You know I think this is going to really well. Ever since I told you about my plan we’ve been much closer. I have faith in us, now more than ever.” Richard sits down across from his wife.

“Thank you for having such faith in me, Richard. I don’t always have such faith in myself.” Hyacinth says quietly.

“I never suspected that you were unsure of yourself at any point. I never considered that you didn’t have confidence in yourself. I’m sure that I didn’t help your confidence by pulling away from you.” Richard tears a piece of toast apart.

“We’ll be okay. I’m sure we’ll figure things out together.” Hyacinth says confidently. She’s remaining positive about their relationship.


	15. Getting Ready

Richard finishes his breakfast and stands up to pick out his outfit for the day. He picks out grey pants, a pale green button down shirt, and a dark grey sweater. He finds the drawer that Hyacinth put his socks and underwear in. He picks up a pair of socks and a pair of boxers.

Hyacinth comes up to Richard and puts her hand on his shoulder. “That outfit is very nice, Richard.”

“Thank you, Hyacinth.” Richard says as he turns towards her slightly. He watches his wife carefully. She looks at peace with herself for once.

Hyacinth picks out a lilac day dress to wear and she finds shoes to go with it. She turns to the dresser and takes out a bra, a pair of underwear and a pair of pantyhose. It feels funny not to be searching for a matching hat, but decided not to bring any with her.

Richard was going to change in the bathroom, but since Hyacinth has already seen him naked today once more isn’t going to change anything. He pulls his pyjama pants off and pulls his underwear on. He can feel Hyacinth’s eyes roam over his body. All he can do is smile at the fact that she is still attracted to him. He pulls his pants on. When he looks up she is putting her underwear on and then he watches her take her nightgown off and put her bra on. She hasn’t let him see her naked in years. She’s still very beautiful and he hasn’t told her enough. He watches her pull a slip on. “You’re beautiful, Hyacinth.” Richard whispers.

Hyacinth blushes under Richard’s praise. It’s been so long since he’s been so complimentary. “Thank you, my darling. That’s sweet of you to say.”

“I’m still capable of being sweet, I’m just a little out of practice.” Richard buttons his dress shirt.

“I’m sure we’re both out of practice, but we’ll be back in practice very quickly.” Hyacinth pulls her dress on and reaches around to zip it up.

Richard pulls his sweater on over his head. Hyacinth struggles to get the zipper to the top of the dress, but manages. “You look lovely, Hyacinth.”

“Thank you, Richard. Shall we go then?” Hyacinth asks nervously.

“Yes, let’s go. Don’t worry about this. We’ll be fine.” Richard puts his arm around Hyacinth’s shoulders as they walk out of the room.

“He’s going to blame me for how our relationship has gone. Even I would do that.” Hyacinth wrings her hands. 

“He better not blame you or we’ll leave.” Richard says firmly. They enter Dr. Feld’s office and sit down.

“Are you the Buckets?” Dr. Feld’s receptionist, Cicely asks.

Hyacinth is about to correct the receptionist when she decides not to. Richard is surprised when Hyacinth doesn’t say anything about the supposed mispronunciation of her last name. All she says is, “Yes, that’s right.”


	16. First Appointment

Dr. Feld comes out of his office and says, “Hyacinth and Richard, you can come in now.” Richard reaches for Hyacinth’s hand and they both take a deep breath before they follow Dr. Feld into his office. “Alright, have a seat and tell me why you’re here. Usually if a couple is breathing in unison it happens at the end of a week with me.”

Normally Hyacinth jumps into a conversation, but she stays quiet this time so Richard says, “Well, it’s complicated. A lot has changed in the last 18 hours since I told Hyacinth I wanted to do this. We haven’t been this close in years. My wife is scared of flying, so she stayed very close during our long flight. I want us to resolve all our issues from recent years and I want to be able to express my love to my wife physically and verbally. I don’t want to be uncomfortable with her anymore. We were so close once not so very long ago, but when our son was born everything changed. Suddenly I was a nonperson. I had to go back to work so quickly after my son was born that I didn’t really get a chance to bond with my son the way I wanted to. My wife was a stay-at home mom, which was wonderful, but I always felt like I was interfering if I took Sheridan from his mother when I came home.”

“Do you agree with that Hyacinth?” Dr. Feld asks the wife of his new couple. “Is that when you feel your relationship changed?”

“Yes, I agree with that. When we had our son I immersed myself in being a mother and I pulled away from my husband, not on purpose, but I think it started before that. I grew up poor and as soon as I got married and moved out of my neighbourhood I wanted to improve my social standing no matter who it hurt. I pushed my family away, especially my sisters and then my husband. I’m sure that Richard feels as if he doesn’t even know our son because I wouldn’t let him be as involved as he should have been. I stopped sleeping in the same bed as Richard because he was working and I never moved back. We weren’t as intimate after Sheridan was born. Richard tried, but I didn’t want Sheridan to see behaviour like that so I pulled away and Richard eventually stopped trying. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing, but when I saw my son’s happy face every day it felt so worth it.” Hyacinth says sadly.

Richard puts his arm around Hyacinth’s shoulders. “She did a wonderful job raising our son. I know she’s still trying to cope with the fact that our son recently came out to us. I know she blames herself because she didn’t allow me to be a bigger part of my son’s life. She feels very guilty.”

“Did either of you or do either of you feel inadequate as a parent or a spouse?” Dr. Feld asks gently.

Hyacinth and Richard both immediately say, “Yes.”

“It’s interesting that both of you said yes. Usually I get one of the people saying yes, but it’s rare to have both spouses say yes. It shows me how much both of you care about each other. It’s a good sign for your relationship. I see couples come in here and it’s clear that they’re looking for a way out, but I can see in the two of you that you want a way in; you want to get back to each other. It’s not rare to see couples of your age coming in to fix their relationship, but it’s nice to see. It’s nice to see couple who are aware that somewhere along the way their relationship had gotten off track. You are one of those couples. We can fix this together if you are willing to put in the work.” Dr. Feld says seriously. “You are meant to be together. I can see in your eyes, Richard, how much you care for Hyacinth. Hyacinth, I can hear in your voice and your words just how much you care for him and how difficult this has been for both of you. We can work on this and make it better. I can assume that your son is no longer living at home?”

“No, my son is at university living in a flat with a roommate. Why does that change things?” Hyacinth asks.

“Not having your son at home is going to make it easier getting a level of intimacy back into your relationship, when you go home, and it will make you more comfortable knowing you won’t be caught by your son. There are going to be things I’m going to ask you to do that may make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, but stick with me and we’ll get this working again.” Dr. Feld says gently. “So, tell me how you two met.”

Richard smiles at the memory. That night was wonderful for both of them. They spent the whole night together. “We met at a party that her friend threw at her parents’ country house. My friends dragged me to the party because I was still single. I found out later that Hyacinth’s friend dragged her to the party. She’d had to borrow a dress from her friend because she didn’t have a party dress to wear. Hyacinth and I danced in the ballroom for a while. I spotted her the moment I entered the party. She was beautiful. She was wearing a gorgeous pale blue gown and her hair was all swept up and her eyes were sparkling. We stayed with everyone else for a while, but it was warm and we wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of the party. We went out into the garden. We sat on a swing outside and we talked for a long time. The sky was clear and as the sun went down the air started to cool quickly. Hyacinth shivered and I put my arms around her to keep her warm. I wanted to kiss her, but I didn’t want to seem too forward. I felt like we had an instant connection.”

“We did have an instant connection. I was comfortable with Richard right from the start. That was the first party I ever drank at. Richard and I had a glass of wine together. We stayed up really late talking. We were close right from the start. I think we fell asleep on the couch together. I remember deciding to be bold, not in my character at the time, and I kissed Richard. I fell asleep in his arms and I knew I never wanted to be anywhere else. I felt like I already knew so much about him. When I woke up the next morning Richard was gone, but he’d left me a note with his phone number saying he’d make sure to get my number from my friend before he left. I was in love right away. I felt like I was floating on air.” Hyacinth sounds wistful.

“Did you know if Richard felt the same at the time?” Dr. Feld asks.

“No, I don’t know if he felt the same and I certainly never said anything about my feelings until he said that he loved me. I didn’t want to scare him off.” Hyacinth says seriously.

“Richard, how did you feel about Hyacinth when you first met her?” Dr. Feld asks pressing the tips of his fingers together.

“I was in love from the very start. I thought she was remarkable. My friends thought I was crazy, but I knew she was the one from that very first night.” Richard has tears running down his face.

Dr. Feld passes Richard a box of tissue and then turns towards Hyacinth. “How does it make you feel to hear him say that now after all these years?”

“It makes me feel as if I was right when I thought that we had a close connection. It makes me feel special. I feel honoured that Richard has been so honest with me. I know how privileged I am to have Richard in my life and how much he loves me. I can’t believe that I forgot that. I’ve dismissed his importance in my life for far too long. I’m surprised that he didn’t say something earlier about all this. This relationship hasn’t been healthy for a long time. We stopped listening to each other a long time ago. I accused him of having a mid-life crisis, which he wasn’t. I told him that when are having a mid-life crisis they often think of other women. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but Richard replied, “Not me, Hyacinth, for me one woman is enough.” I think that is a pretty good indication of where our marriage was at the time.” Hyacinth begins to cry softly.

Richard looks at his wife and his heart breaks. He pulls a tissue out of the box and turns his wife towards him. He dries her tears and runs his fingers over her face. “I didn’t mean that, Hyacinth. I said that in a moment that I felt was absurd. It was meant as a jest.”

“Oh Richard, don’t start fibbing now. You meant exactly what you said. I don’t blame you at all. There have been a few moment like that over the years which now, looking back, were opportunities to change things, and we didn’t because we didn’t know where that change would take us. Those moments when your guard was down was when you said how you really felt. Don’t forget how well I know you.” Hyacinth cups Richard’s cheek and looks into his eyes.

“You’re right. I was being truthful when I said that, but I didn’t know you were listening! You never listen! How did I know you were listening at that precise moment in time?!” Richard asks angrily.

“Alright, this is good. We’re giving a voice to our emotions. Now, I want you to think carefully before you answer this question. When was the last time you each felt truly listened to?” Dr. Feld asks gently. “Take your time.”

Both Hyacinth and Richard pause and think carefully before Richard says, “The last time I really felt heard was just before Sheridan was talking in full sentences, just before he was 18 months old.”

Hyacinth’s eyes well up with tears. She didn’t know Richard had been so lonely for so long. She thinks about the last time she felt that she was really listened to. “The last time I felt listened to was before Sheridan went to nursery school. Once I started getting busier with school events Richard stopped listening because I wasn’t around as much for him. Sheridan and I were always close.” Hyacinth says through tears.

“I didn’t stop listening because you didn’t have enough time for me. I stopped listening because we stopped having anything common except for our son. I didn’t know how to reconnect with you. I wanted to talk to you about everything and be involved in my son’s life.” Richard desperately wants his wife to understand what he’s saying.

“This is very good. I have a very important question to ask the two of you. Again think carefully before you answer. Do either of you have a happy memory during your son’s first year that doesn’t revolve around him?” Dr. Feld asks curiously.

Hyacinth and Richard are both quiet for a few minutes. Again Richard is the one who answers first. “It was about six months after Sheridan was born, about two weeks before Christmas. Sheridan got quite sick and Hyacinth’s sister, Daisy, came to stay to help out so we could both sleep. I heard Hyacinth get up very late one night and she walked down to the kitchen. I got up and followed her downstairs. When I got down stairs into the kitchen she was sitting at the table with her hands around a glass of milk and she was crying. I went over and hugged and sat her on my lap and held her. I asked her what was wrong and why she was up at 3 a.m. and what I could do to help. She said she felt like she was failing as a mother and that Sheridan was so sick that she didn’t know what to do. She was at her wit’s end. She was exhausted and she didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know how to help her. I wanted to try and make her feel better. Sheridan was so sick and we were so emotional. We didn’t know how to help each other. She was so upset about the fact that she felt as if she had failed as a mother because Sheridan got sick. It took all her strength to allow her sister to help her with our son. She was falling apart. I just held her and let her cry and vent. Our son couldn’t breathe and our doctor didn’t know what was wrong, in fact, my sister-in-law was the one who knew what was wrong. Hyacinth was so vulnerable, emotional, and she needed me. It felt more like when we were first married.” Richard is emotional when he thinks about that moment.

“I vividly remember that night. We stayed up all night even though we didn’t have to. We talked all night about how we felt we were doing as parents. The moment I remember the most was Christmas Eve that year. We decided to exchange gifts between the two of us then instead of Christmas morning with the rest of the family. We just wanted to enjoy Christmas with Sheridan, so Christmas Eve Richard and I stayed up late and sat in front of the tree. The lights on the tree were twinkling and we exchanged gifts. Richard had gotten me two family rings: one with the birthstones of my parents, my sisters and I and one with my birthstone, Richard’s birthstone and Sheridan’s birthstone in it. I leaned over and kissed Richard and as I pulled away from the kiss he said I was beautiful. It’s the last time I remember him saying that until now. He unwrapped his gift that I’d carefully picked out and had engraved. I’d gotten him a wrist watch and it was engraved with: “To the new daddy on your son’s 1st Christmas from your loving wife.” Hyacinth reminisces.

“I loved that gift. I still wear that watch every single day. Look.” Richard pulls the sleeve of his sweater and shirt up to show his wife.

“Oh Richard! That’s so sweet! I can’t believe you still wear that! That was 26 years ago!” Hyacinth leans over and hugs Richard.

“You picked a gift that was heartfelt and sweet. It was perfect for the occasion and I’ve always loved it because it was personal. It wasn’t a gift that anyone else could have received from anyone else. I appreciated that from you so much.” Richard holds Hyacinth tightly in his arms.

“This is excellent. I have a really easy question now. You both have siblings. Now, where do you fall in the birth order?” Dr. Feld asks.

“I’m the oldest.” Hyacinth says. She bends forwards and pours herself a glass of water. She takes a long sip and observes Dr. Feld. He’s nodding as if that makes perfect sense.

“I’m the youngest, but I’m not very close with my siblings.” Richard explains.

“Now, this makes much more sense. When things changed in your relationship you reverted back to your sibling roles. It felt natural. Richard, you were used to being bossed around, so when it happened in your marriage you accepted it. Hyacinth, you were in charge all the time when you were a girl. You probably raised your youngest siblings, so you reverted to your role as mother hen with your husband. You job is going to be to get back to being partners and lovers instead of being like siblings.” Dr. Feld says seriously. “Now, I want to give you a homework assignment and then you can go. I want you to spend some time tonight just touching each other. It doesn’t have to be sexual. Out of curiosity when was the last time you were intimate?”

Hyacinth and Richard both sigh and say, “About twenty years ago.”

“Twenty years is a long time to go without being intimate with your spouse! Did you change in front of each other during that time?” Dr. Feld asks gently.

Hyacinth nods. “We did up until about 10 years ago, but it was never fully.”

“What changed ten years ago between the two of you?” Dr. Feld encourages.

“Nothing changed between us, but I gained a significant amount of weight that year. I didn’t feel as confident in myself. I didn’t want Richard to think any less of me.” Hyacinth lowers her eyes away from Richard so she doesn’t have to see the pain she knows will be in his eyes.

“Oh Hyacinth, you’re beautiful. I’ve always thought that. My emotions have never changed because your appearance changed. I’m surprised that you thought that my love for you would change. It’s not as if my appearance hasn’t changed over the years and your emotions have stayed true. You’re gorgeous, Hyacinth. I wish you’d believe me.” Richard puts his hand under Hyacinth’s chin and tilts her head up to look at him. He kisses her softly.

“I believe you now, especially after the way you looked at me this morning.” Hyacinth says softly.

“Ah, so what changed this morning?” Dr. Feld asks cheekily.

“Well, Richard went into the bathroom to shower and I had to get into the bathroom to do a couple of things and so I slipped in. Richard didn’t know I was there. I washed my face and just as I was drying my face Richard stepped out of the shower with his eyes closed. When I pushed a towel into his hands I think he nearly died of shock. I couldn’t help but look at him which I think made him very self-conscious. I think he thought I was being critical, but I was only looking. You’re very handsome, Richard, and I told you so this morning.” Hyacinth covers Richard’s hand with hers and gives it a squeeze.

“Richard, how did you feel when you found out Hyacinth had seen you naked?” Dr. Feld prods carefully.

“I felt embarrassed, self-conscious, vulnerable, uncomfortable, and awkward. Those were things I never wanted to feel around my wife. I hated myself in that moment for not being able to look at my wife, for not being confident in myself, for not being able to take my wife in my arms and kiss her in that moment.” Richard says solemnly.

“Well, I think we all have a lot to mull over. I want you to get something to eat and relax. Do your homework assignment tonight back at your hotel. Go for a walk, maybe, and remember you don’t have to go together. If you need time apart then take it. It’s amazing how healing that can be. I have only one more question for you: are you still attracted to each other?” Dr. Feld says firmly.

“Oh yes,” Hyacinth looks sideways at Richard and smiles.

“God yes, always,” Richard says honestly.

“Good, Hyacinth, I’m going to give you, in particular, one other thing to do today. I want you to go to the bookstore and pick up this book. You can ask at the front desk.” Dr. Feld passes Hyacinth a piece of paper.

Hyacinth eyes widen in shock when she sees the title of the book. “I can’t ask for this! It’s a sex book! I would feel so uncomfortable!”

“Hyacinth, do you trust me?” Hyacinth nods. “I recommend every woman who comes into this office purchase and read this book. You are no exception. This will help. I can promise no one will give you a sideways glance. You are perfectly safe in this town. No one is going to judge you. I encourage you to share what you learn from the book with Richard. Don’t be uncomfortable with your desires. They should be second nature to you. One of the things you need to learn is how to ask for what you need in all facets of your life. This book will help. Have a good afternoon.”


	17. I Can't Buy That Book and Other Thoughts

Hyacinth shakes her head as they leave the office “I can’t ask for this book! Just look at the title!” Hyacinth passes Richard the paper.

Richard’s eyes widen as he too looks at the title. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I’ll be alright. I’m a big girl. Get us a table in the diner and I’ll be right there.” Hyacinth says with determination.

“Here darling, you’ll need American money.” Richard puts two bills in Hyacinth’s hand before he leans in and kisses her cheek and says, “Be brave, my heart.”

Hyacinth walks with purposeful steps across the street to the bookstore. She walks in and walks up to the clerk at the front counter. “Dr. Feld sent me to pick up a book.”

“I know the one you’re after, ma’am. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s a good book. I’ve read it myself. It’s right here under the counter. It’s fifteen dollars, ma’am.” The female clerk says reassuringly.

“Thank you for your help.” Hyacinth takes her package from the clerk.

“Good luck. Dr. Feld is very good. He’ll be able to help.”

Hyacinth heads back to the diner and finds Richard quickly. “That was easier than I thought.”

“That’s good. How do you feel about today? I ordered you a cup of tea, by the way.” Richard says. He stands up when Hyacinth joins him.

“Thank you. I feel quite optimistic. We were both open and honest. We said things we’ve never said to each other before. I think we’re going to be okay.” Hyacinth smiles gently.

“I think so too. When you go down to the beach do you want to go on your own?” Richard asks as he tries to peruse the menu at the same time as listening to his wife.

“I think I’d like to go on my own. I just need to clear my mind and do some thinking. Will you be alright on your own for awhile?” Hyacinth asks sweetly.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. We should spend some time apart to gather our thoughts and prep for tomorrow. Don’t be too late though. We’ve got homework to do and I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted.” Richard says as he sets his menu aside.

“I am tired, but at least our homework is fun. For the first time in my life I’m not dreading doing my homework.” Hyacinth says cheekily.

Richard smiles at his wife when the waitress comes over. “What can I get you?”

“What’s the soup and sandwich special?” Hyacinth asks.

“It’s a club sandwich and seafood chowder,” the waitress tells Hyacinth.

“I’ll have that, thank you.” Hyacinth crosses her ankles under the table and as she does this her foot brushes Richard’s leg.

“I’ll have the B.L.T. on white and soup, please.” Richard tries to ignore the feeling of Hyacinth’s foot against his leg.

The waitress walks away and Hyacinth says, “You know I already feel really good about this. You’ve said things I never thought you’d ever say. Thank you for being so honest, Richard. I know this wasn’t my idea, but I appreciate it very much.”

“I’m proud of you, Hyacinth. I was really worried about this. I was worried that it wasn’t going to go very well because you were so upset when I suggested this. You certainly altered your opinion. What changed?” Richard asks gently.

“I realized you were right. Things weren’t good and I’d ignored it. I stood at the front window and watched you leave for the airport and I realized in the first five minutes that I didn’t want to lose you. I’ve never packed so quickly in all my life. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know what to expect when I got on the plane either, but you were your usual self and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I’ve been scared since I left the house.” Hyacinth admits.

“There’s no reason for you to be scared. We can fix everything.” Richard says gently.

“I know that now! When you suggested this I didn’t know what to expect; in fact, I practically expected that we would be taking separate flights to separate lives. It’s nice to know that won’t be happening.” Hyacinth says quietly.

“You know the night that I suggested all this and you dismissed it I went upstairs and cried. I thought we were over. I didn’t want you to know before, but I feel comfortable telling you now.” Richard admits quietly.

“Oh darling, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I didn’t think about what I said and how it would affect you before I said it.” Hyacinth says seriously. “I still haven’t learned to think before I speak apparently.”

Richard smiles and it reminds Hyacinth of a time when they were young and they went on a date to a local diner in their hometown. Their waitress comes over with their meal. “Enjoy your lunch. By the way, I couldn’t help but over hear your conversation and if you trust in Dr. Feld and go through the process you’ll come out the other side more in love than you ever have been before. Trust him, he changes lives. I see it all the time.”

“Thank you for the advice.” Richard says sweetly.

“You’re so good with people, Richard. I wouldn’t have been as patient with her.” Hyacinth compliments him.

“It just seems as if everyone in the town is willing to help and wants us to succeed. I’ve never felt such support from strangers before.” Richard explains.

“I agree with that. Even the young woman who helped me in the bookstore wants us to succeed.” Hyacinth picks up her spoon and begins to eat her soup.


	18. Sweaters

Richard and Hyacinth walk slowly back to the hotel holding hands. Hyacinth wants to pick up a sweater and leave her purse in the room before she goes to walk on the beach. She sorts through the things in the closet that she hurriedly packed in her suitcase and doesn’t find what she’s looking for. “Richard, did you pack me a sweater by chance?”

“I’ll check. I don’t remember packing you one, but I may have.” Richard searches the closet on his side and says, “I didn’t pack you a sweater, but you can borrow one of mine if you like. You’ll be warmer in one of mine anyway.”

“That’s sweet, Richard. Thank you, I will take you up on your offer.” Hyacinth smiles at her husband.

Richard pulls a grey cardigan out of the closet and passes it to Hyacinth. Hyacinth pulls the sweater on and wraps it around herself. “This is lovely and cosy, Richard. I’ll be back soon.” Hyacinth kisses Richard’s cheek before she leaves.

“Hyacinth, are you going to take that book with you?” Richard asks noting the package under his wife’s arm.

“Oh, no, I’m not taking it with me. Feel free to read it while I’m gone. You might get some tips too.” Hyacinth tosses the book on the bed.

“I’ll wait for you. We’ll have the experience together. Go for your walk and I’ll see you later.” Richard says gently.

Hyacinth smiles at her husband before she opens the door. “Hyacinth, take a key card with you in case I decide to go for a walk.” Hyacinth picks up a key card from the dresser. She makes her way slowly down to the beach. She stands at the edge of the water and looks out to sea with Richard’s sweater wrapped around her.


	19. On the Beach

“Hyacinth, it’s good to see you taking some time for yourself, but you look wistful about something.” Dr. Feld comes walking down the beach.

“You know I used to love going to the beach with my sisters when I was a little girl and I used to love taking my son to the beach, but I haven’t been for so long. Why are you here?” Hyacinth sighs heavily.

“I use my walks on the beach to calm my thoughts and regroup. My job is rewarding but it is also very draining because I get so involved in people’s lives. I try to do this every day before I go and pick up my kids at school. Are you nervous or worried about being away from home the week before Christmas?” Dr. Feld looks out on the ocean.

“A little. I always host Christmas dinner for the family, but my son is home from university, so I can call home and get him to do the shopping for Christmas dinner. Christmas Eve is always at my neighbour’s, so I don’t have to worry about that and I already had all my Christmas baking done before I came. If I feel like it’s going to be too much I do have three sisters who can help out. I’m determined not to be as picky and uptight as I have in the past.” Hyacinth shoves her hands into the pockets of Richard’s sweater. Her fingers brush against a heavy piece of paper in one of the pockets. She pulls the piece of paper out and nearly cries when she sees it’s a picture of her in the garden over the summer with the sun shining down on her. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”


	20. You're So Sweet!

Hyacinth goes running up the beach towards the hotel. She pauses in the hallway before she enters the room. When she enters the room Richard is sitting watching BBC News World. She goes and sits next to him and kisses his cheek.

Richard turns towards his wife and is promptly kissed firmly on the lips. He quickly melts into the kiss and wraps his arms around his wife’s waist. “What was that about?” Richard asks when he pulls away from the kiss.

“You carrying this around in your pocket.” Hyacinth says pulling the photo out of the pocket of the cardigan. “You’re so sweet!”

“When I went and got the summer film developed this was my favourite and you didn’t even know I’d taken it, so I tucked it away for me. It reminds me of the way you used to be when you were young. You looked so carefree and light. You looked so beautiful and it was the first time I’d thought that in a long time. I kept it close to me to remind me of how you could be.” Richard tells Hyacinth.

Hyacinth leans into her husband and kisses him again. “I love you so much.” Hyacinth whispers.

“I love you too, my darling. Did you clear your head on your walk on the beach? I feel a lot less emotional now that I’ve had some time to relax.” Richard asks as he allows Hyacinth to lay her head on his lap.

“Yes, I did clear my head. I forgot how relaxing being at the beach can be. I loved hearing the sound of the ocean and knowing that no matter what happened in my life the beach would always be there. I haven’t been so relaxed in a long time.” Hyacinth says honestly. “I need to remember to call Sheridan and give him the list for groceries for Christmas Day since we won’t be back till Christmas Eve. I also need to remind him to call the family and invite them all to Christmas Day. I want my whole family there for Christmas and I’m so glad Elizabeth said she would host a Christmas Eve potluck again. That will make life that night a lot easier.”

“I forgot that Elizabeth was doing that. What are you going to say to Elizabeth when we go home?” Richard asks his wife.

“I’m going to say how sorry I am, but the most important thing is to show her how much I’ve changed. I can’t believe how abominably I’ve behaved towards Elizabeth. She doesn’t deserve any of the things I’ve done to her.” Hyacinth says sadly.

“Maybe not, but I am sure that you will fix things between the two of you. I trust you to make things right between you and Elizabeth. You can make everything better with all of your friends and family. You need to believe in yourself. You can do this. I believe in you even if you don’t give yourself the same credit.” Richard reassures his wife. “I got us a 7:30 reservation down in the hotel restaurant, so if you would like to change now is your chance.”

“Should I dress up? Did you go and have a look at the dining room?” Hyacinth sits up. 

“I did go have a look at the dining room. It’s pretty fancy, but it’s not a candlelight supper.” Richard teases his wife.

“Oh Richard, don’t tease!” Hyacinth gives Richard a little shove. “I’m going to change.”

Richard turns to watch his wife move around the room picking out her outfit for dinner. She picks out a blue dress and slips out of her suit and into her dress. Richard knows that she won’t be able to zip up her dress all the way. “Do you want some help with the zipper, Hyacinth?”

“Yes please, Richard. I can manage most of it. It’s just the top bit.” Hyacinth tells her husband. Richard stands up and moves in behind his wife. He stills her hands and zips her dress up.

“You look beautiful. Shall we go to dinner?” Richard offers his arm to his wife.

“Yes, let’s go. Don’t forget the key card. We’ll need that later.” Hyacinth gently reminds Richard.

Richard puts the key card in his pocket before they leave the room.


End file.
